Buddhism — WIT, WISDOM & WELL BEING

It is no small task to be present or mindful, particularly in today’s environment filled with uncertainty and a feeling of groundlessness. If the concept is new to you, then I applaud you for even reading this post. You have an interest and that is the perfect place to start. I like to explain it as if I was teaching someone to read, swing a tennis racket or plant a vegetable garden. It’s best to take it slow with the understanding that there will likely be days when things don’t go as planned and more importantly, the more we do it, the more familiar it becomes.

Being present means having the ability to hold the mind steady without thinking other thoughts that compete with where we currently are. Ram Dass said it much better: Be Here Now. While this seems easy in concept, many of our minds are not too keen on this choice, particularly if they aren’t used to it. Our minds like to be very busy planning, reminiscing, wanting, not wanting, fearing, worrying. And our minds become very good (some are professionals, like mine) at juggling multiple thoughts that often don’t even pertain to what we are actually doing. In Buddhism, these varying states of mind (typically thought of as negative) are called Kleshas and are believed to be what causes our suffering as human beings. When we work to be present, we notice when the mind has gotten carried away leading us into stories that aren’t serving us, and we learn to return back to a more concentrated mental state. When we learn to notice our thinking mind “running the show” and leading us into negative thoughts and actions, we can ask ourselves: Is there truth in these thoughts? Are these thoughts serving me? Do they have anything to do with what I’m doing now? The more we practice this, the better we become at residing in the present moment and feeling a sense of freedom from our over-thinking minds. Meditation is a formal way of helping us strengthen our ability to be present. So we practice and practice and practice.

I know. It’s heavy. It’s a big ask. How is it even possible? Perhaps it’s best to first look at a definition of love. In the case of loving everyone, I believe it’s about accepting everyone. I love everyone because they are fellow human beings living on this round ball, just like me. Experiencing their life with all its joys and sufferings, just like me. As Joan Halifax said on the podcast, Ten Percent Happier, “Can we hold all beings in our hearts equally?”

There’s freedom in the idea that we don’t have to like everyone. We don’t have to like what someone did or is doing, but we could try to understand that their life conditioning may be different than ours resulting in actions that may not align with ours. Believe me, I understand the challenge. I fail often. I am human. This is the thing: We do the best we can and we don’t beat ourselves up for failing. We just try to notice when we fall short and do better next time. And, we do that one million, zillion times. We don’t have to like what someone else is doing or saying. But we could try to respect them as another human being circling around on this ball we’ve named Earth, staying alive in the same way, lungs bellowing and hearts beating.

So in this context, love becomes about acceptance. Buddhist teachers talk about learning to accept someone on death row who has committed the worst of crimes by remembering that their actions are a result of what their human conditioning provided. When Nelson Mandela had his inauguration dinner as President of South Africa he asked his prison guard to join the head table. This is after, while incarcerated, he had been asked to dig a grave and lie in it while the guards urinated on him. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Love.