Many people think that meditation is the process of thinking nothing or just thinking happy thoughts in an effort to realize a blissful mental state. Thankfully, this is not the case. If it was, meditators would frequently be left feeling frustration and failure. As a person becomes more familiar with meditation, they realize the mind is a formidable force and meditation can be difficult, like learning to read. So, with a degree of vulnerability, I will share my process with you in hopes that it is helpful.
Once I establish a “comfortable seat” or position either sitting or lying down, I start to bring attention to my breath, or the sounds around me, or what my body feels like; something that I can attach my focus on other than the busy thinking-mind. After awhile, I can feel my mind slowing down as if I am entering a quieter place that is vast in size, like the view of an open sky or the ocean’s horizon. I can feel my body begin to relax and my breathing regulate. Once I feel settled, I start to watch.
Watch what, you ask? Thoughts and emotions. It’s important to realize that meditation is not about not thinking, it is about noticing what you are thinking. You may agree, that the mind is a masterful storyteller. It works hard to keep you dutifully engaged in the plots, many of which you are the main character and often things aren’t going so well. If we pay attention, we can see our desires, our aversions and our patterns. We are “collecting data” as Robin Duran describes in her Ten Percent Happier Podcast. After some practice, you may notice that there are little spaces, like rest periods between thoughts. While these moments may be fleeting, they are powerful. I believe it’s the accumulation of these rest periods and their sensations that guide us towards a peaceful mental state, and it is why people practice meditation daily. Continual practice strengthens the mind’s ability to loosen the reigns and rest with more frequency. Some call the restful mind, the “intuitive mind”, the place where creativity and inspiration reside.
Today, I noticed thoughts about 20 Park Lane, the address of my childhood. As I was walking down the long driveway to the bus stop, my winter boots crunched the unplowed snow making it difficult to walk fast enough to meet the bus on time. It was a feeling I remembered experiencing when I left the house late. The dread of everyone on the bus having to wait for me to get on. This childhood story lasted for probably less than a minute. I then noticed thoughts changing to questions. I wondered why that particular scene surfaced and I remembered that a friend recently told me about someone she knew moving to Chagrin Falls, Ohio, my birthplace. Perhaps that text perpetuated my school bus scene? And where did her friend move to anyway? And, is it snowing in Chagrin Falls right now? Alas, the pondering and the problem-solving arise! It was time to come back to the breath, re-focus and begin again. This is how it goes in meditation. It’s a constant back- and forth-ness.
As we know, there is plenty to be worried and fearful about right now. It would be unfair to expect that meditations wouldn’t include despairing thoughts. So, what do we do? We can watch and inquire, “Are these thoughts useful? Are they really true? How do they make me feel? Would it be better to let these thoughts go right now ?” We may see patterns that need further exploration, thoughts and emotions that surface with frequency because their importance has been neglected over time. During meditation, we are in a constant process of learning more about ourselves.
I am grateful for my meditation teachers, the people who devote their lives to sharing how to practice. I am grateful that I have learned how to be aware of my thoughts as they arrive in their random ways, often uninvited and unexpected, sometimes useful and sometimes not. I am grateful knowing that I can use my meditation practice to be fully engaged in life and hopefully, spread some happiness and peace along the way. If this helps you in any way, well then, I am so grateful for your interest.